The Book of Life Movie Novelization Read online

  *****

  Manolo and the Rodriguez brothers wandered the dark and empty streets. Pepe played the violin, while Pancho played trumpet and Pablo played the guitarlike tololoche.

  “I can’t believe the general invited the whole town! Except for you, Manolo,” Pepe said.

  “Sorry, bro.” Pablo tried to be supportive.

  “He even invited us. And he hates us,” Pancho put in.

  “It’s hopeless.” Manolo’s shoulders slumped with a long, tragic sigh. “I’ve lost her to Joaquin.”

  Pepe had an idea. “Listen, listen, all we gotta do is play the right song and, trust me, everything will turn around in the space of four bars.”

  Pancho gave a little laugh. “We’ve already been to four bars!” He added, “Twice!”

  Suddenly, Pepe stopped. “Hold it. I know exactly what to play.” He called the guys into a huddle and pulled Manolo into the circle.

  “Okay, okay. It has to be romantic and classy,” Pancho said after hearing the plan.

  Pepe agreed. “But with tons of dignity!”

  *****

  Maria lay on her bed, snuggling with Chuy, when she heard the music outside. She knew that voice. It was Pancho playing on a tiny toy piano below her window, and the song wasn’t very good.

  Chuy knocked a cactus off Maria’s balcony at him to stop the racket.

  Maria snuck near the window so she could see, but was still hidden in shadow.

  Manolo was with Pepe. “Wow, that totally captivated her.” He groaned.

  Pepe shrugged. “I don’t get it. That one always works!”

  But Pepe had another idea. “Ooo, I got it! Follow my lead.” Pepe danced and spun around to another equally bad song, ripping off his shirt to reveal a tattoo of himself on his chest.

  Chuy threw another potted plant at him. Pepe fell to the ground, dazed.

  “Ha! Very romantic, Pepe,” Manolo laughed sarcastically.

  Maria, still hidden in her room, covered her mouth while she giggled. Chuy growled, so she tugged him out of sight, where they could both find out what the boys would do next.

  “Hey, that’s all I’ve got, man.” Pepe quit.

  Pablo leaped forward. “Okay, my turn!” He prepared to sing. “One, two, one two tres cuatro!” But before he even hit the first note, a massive potted cactus landed on his head. “Time to eat our feelings!” Pablo muttered from inside the plant as he also quit.

  The brothers ran off toward a restaurant. Manolo stood out on the street alone.

  As Maria’s lights went out, Manolo picked up his guitar. The engraving from Maria shone in the moonlight. ALWAYS PLAY FROM THE HEART. He closed his eyes . . . and began to play.

  Manolo began to sing a beautiful song that he’d written just for Maria. His music was pure and true, and each note was born from the long years he’d spent loving her from afar.

  Maria moved back to the window. This time she opened the doors and stepped into the moonlight. She didn’t want to miss a single word of the song.

  Manolo spotted Maria above him. It spurred him to sing with even more fervor.

  The farm animals and the townspeople were starting to pay attention as well.

  La Muerte stood on a rooftop, grinning.

  Joaquin heard the song too. He stood in the hallway outside Maria’s room for a long moment, then had an idea. He turned around to go back to the party downstairs.

  Pepe and his brothers hurried out of the restaurant to provide backup music for Manolo.

  From a nearby rooftop Xibalba looked on in horror—he realized that he was going to lose his bet with La Muerte.

  The Rodriquez brothers stacked themselves into a human ladder. While still singing and strumming his guitar, Manolo began to climb toward Maria’s balcony.

  The moon was full. Maria met Manolo under the stars. He leaned in slowly toward her lips. Both of them were lost in the moment, but at the last second Maria pulled back. “Did you think it was going to be that easy?”

  Surprised, Manolo lost his balance and began to fall. He tossed Maria his guitar as he and the Rodriquez brothers crashed to the ground.

  Wearing Pancho’s trumpet on his head, Manolo sighed. “I—I kinda did.”

  Maria laughed as Manolo dusted himself off beside the heap of Rodriguez brothers. “Manolo!” she called. “Hold on, I’m coming!” But at the bottom of the stairs, she found Joaquin, standing with General Posada. Joaquin held out a small box with a ring.

  “Joaquin! What are you doing?”

  General Posada pulled Joaquin’s leg to make him kneel. “Maria, um, will you . . . will you marry me?”

  Maria’s jaw dropped wide open. “Uhhhmmm.”

  Four pretty girls behind her shouted simultaneously, “Yes!”

  Joaquin told Maria, “Don’t worry, your father already said you could.”

  Maria’s jaw dropped even farther. “He did what?”

  “Who else could protect us from Chakal?” The general held up the wanted poster he always carried.

  Maria stepped back from Joaquin, but the general pushed her forward. Just then, the door opened. Pepe carried Manolo into the room.

  “Uh-oh,” Pepe said as one of the girls at the party fainted.

  Manolo, still delirious from the fall, put his arm around Joaquin. “What’d I miss?”

  Joaquin was confused. “Wait, did he propose too?”

  “No.” Maria gave a small laugh and asked Manolo, “Were you going to?”

  “Uh, what?” Manolo didn’t have a clue what was going on.

  “Well, I proposed first. So go fight a bull or something,” Joaquin said.

  Manolo pushed Joaquin away and the soldiers caught him.

  Maria was angry. “You two are acting like fools!”

  Manolo thought he was the victor until he saw Maria’s face. “Wait, me too?”

  One of the soldiers holding Joaquin was amazed at his muscles. “Oh, you’re so strong, Joaquin.”

  “Thanks. I work out a lot,” Joaquin said. With a smirk, he moved closer to Manolo. “Look, I love you, you know that, but how are you going to protect Maria if you can’t even finish a bull?”

  The most cowardly soldier said, “Good one, Joaquin.”

  “Oh yeah?” Manolo wasn’t shaken. “You will never be as great a hero as your father.”

  Everyone gasped.

  The soldier said, “Now, that’s just uncalled for.”

  The fight got worse from there. Manolo pointed at Joaquin. Joaquin responded, saying, “Oh, you better get your finger out of my face,” and poking his finger back at Manolo.

  “Don’t point at me!” Manolo shouted.

  They started swatting at each other like little kids.

  “I’m the best pointer you’ve ever seen!” Joaquin cried.

  A soldier handed Joaquin a sword. He pointed it at Manolo. “En guarde, little brother.”

  “Manolo!” Pepe yelled.

  Manolo turned, expecting a sword, but Pepe handed him his guitar instead. Manolo gave Pepe a questioning look.

  “What? You wanted a banjo?” Pepe asked.

  Joaquin began to chuckle. “Ha-ha! Look at him! He’s got his guitar. What are you gonna do?”

  Manolo raised his instrument. “I’m gonna teach you some manners.” He clanked Joaquin’s sword with the neck of his guitar.

  Maria’d had enough. She stepped between them and with some fancy footwork of her own, disarmed each of them within seconds. “Did I mention I also studied fencing?”

  Manolo caught his guitar while Maria caught the sword. She tried to give Joaquin back his weapon, but he refused it. “Fine. We’ll settle this later,” Joaquin said.

  “Any time. Any place.” Manolo replied.

  Maria shook her head. “Really, guys?”

  Joaquin stormed out of the house. “No! Don’t go Joaquin!” a cowardly soldier shouted after him.

  As General Posada’s dinner guests were settling back into the ballroom, the front door opened with a
bang. The orphan boys, Ignacio and Luka, dashed inside.

  “The bandidos are coming!” Ignacio announced.

  The cowardly soldier began to shake in fear. “And Joaquin is gone!”

  “All is lost!” the nuns sang. Everyone ran to hide.

  Chakal’s bandits scurried toward the town, while the townspeople hurried to lock their doors. Chato, Chakal’s right-hand man and bandido lieutenant, cackled in joy as the town gate, covered with Chakal’s wanted posters, exploded. The bandits entered San Angel, wearing barrels of TNT on their backs and carrying torches.

  “Tremble in fear before the might of Chakal’s army!” Chato said as his men burst through the smoke.

  General Posada shouted above the chaos, “Women and children, go to the church! Men, we’re going to drive Chakal’s bandits off! Who is with me?”

  He was met by silence as the soldiers fled in fear. General Posada let out a long breath. “Ay! This is not good.”

  The dastardly bandidos reached the center of town. They were terrible to look upon, with their arms and hands made of metal. They smiled mischievously as they took in all the loot they could pillage from the town. Chato, their leader and the shortest bandido, stood on a central staircase and announced, “Listen up, you cowards! These are Chakal’s demands.” He rolled out a ridiculously long parchment scroll and put on reading glasses.

  Chato read the list while the bandidos collected the goods from frightened townsfolk.

  “Hand over your chickens, monies, bacon, jars, mustache wax . . .” He paused and squinted at the words. “Ah, this looks like ‘jelly’ but I think it’s ‘jewelry’. . . Yeah, jewelry!”

  A thief called Mofles sadly gave back the jelly he’d taken.

  Chato finished Chakal’s demands. “Anyways, if you give all of this to us, then maybe we won’t burn your town down.”

  Manolo drew his swords and approached the bandidos. He tried not to focus on the fact that there were at least thirty of them versus one of him. “You want the town? You’re gonna have to go through me,” he said bravely.

  The four most menacing bandits moved toward him. A tall, skinny bandido named Cuchillo with a hook for a hand loomed over him, followed by Chato and Mofles. Then came Plomo, who had a spiked mace for a hand and was by far the biggest bandido. They lifted their weapons. Manolo stood taller. Plomo began to swing his mace, when a voice called out.

  “Hey, ugly!”

  The four bandits turned to see Joaquin high on a rooftop, sitting atop a white horse and wearing his father’s sombrero. He looked like a serious hero.

  “Why don’t you fight a real man?” Joaquin challenged the bandits. “With a really awesome mustache!”

  Joaquin’s horse jumped house to house, until finally Joaquin leaped off his steed and into the air, performing a fantastic swan dive. He shouted his own name as he dove. “JOOOOOAAAAQUUUIIN!”

  At the last second he somersaulted and landed between Manolo and the bandits.

  “Thank goodness you are here!” General Posada was thrilled.

  Joaquin stepped into the light like a superhero. His cape flapped in the wind. With a flick of his wrist, Joaquin took off his sombrero and tossed it to Manolo. “Here, hold this.” Then he gave Manolo his cape. “And this.” He handed over his swords. “And this. Oh, and if that’s too heavy, maybe you can just hand it to Maria.”

  Joaquin winked at Maria. She rolled her eyes.

  Joaquin turned to the bandits and said, “My name is Joaquin, son of Captain Mondragon. Tonight, the town of San Angel is under my protection.”

  The bandits laughed at him.

  “Prepare to be beaten.” Joaquin put his hands on his hips.

  Joaquin and the bandits looked at each other angrily.

  “Get him, Plomo!” Chato ordered.

  Plomo charged at Joaquin, swinging his mace like a madman, but Joaquin was fast. He snatched it out of the air and kicked Plomo away like a flea. Joaquin shouted his own name with each strike.

  The other bandidos attacked. Joaquin didn’t even sweat as he defeated them one by one.

  The bandits kept charging, but Joaquin was strong and determined. The townspeople started chanting his name.

  The nuns sang out, “Who wants some more?”

  Chato was growing more and more angry. “GET HIM!”

  His men charged as a pack. Joaquin didn’t feel any pressure. He took a second to greet Maria, “Hey, girl.”

  “You goofball!” Maria shrieked.

  All the bandits then jumped on him, pinning Joaquin to the ground. Chato punched him repeatedly.

  Joaquin felt no pain. He laughed, saying, “Ow. Ooo. Oh. All right, that’s just not hurting at all.”

  Suddenly, Chato noticed a glowing medal on Joaquin’s chest. “The beautiful hero,” Chato whispered under his breath. “He has the Medal of Everlasting Life!” The bandits looked at one another, stunned, but none of the other townspeople heard him.

  Joaquin quickly covered his medal, got to his feet, and punched out all four bandits. He said his name, “Joaquin,” as each man dropped to the ground.

  Manolo, standing near the bandits, was blown back by the force of Joaquin’s furious punches.

  Joaquin stared Chato in the eye. The bandit leader stared back, then commanded his troops, “Retreat!” The bandits all ran off.

  “And don’t ever come back!” Joaquin shouted after them. The town was saved. Everyone celebrated.

  “That was amazing!” Maria said, congratulating him on his victory.

  Manolo was the only one who wasn’t impressed. “Yeah, you really are a hero.” He sighed.

  “Perhaps now we possibly could continue our conversation, Señorita Posada?” Joaquin put an arm around Maria’s shoulders.

  She looked at her father and then at the people of the town; they were all waiting for her answer.

  “Maria, please, do it for the town,” her father said. “Without Joaquin, we’re at the mercy of Chakal!”

  Maria nodded silently, then went to Joaquin, leaving Manolo in the square.

  Manolo could hear her as they walked away. She said, “So why don’t you tell me more about how you got some of those medals. . . .”

  Joaquin’s voice became faint as he replied, “Well, I got this one for delivering a baby with one hand while arm wrestling a bear . . .”

  *****

  “Well, duh. Of course she’s gonna go with Joaquin! Did you see that mustache?” Sanjay pointed out.

  “You crazy?” Jane asked him. “Maria is doing this to protect the town.”

  “Putting her duty before her heart,” the goth kid added.

  “Yes,” Mary Beth told the kids. “Life can be really tough for the living.”

  *****

  Inside the matador’s chapel Manolo was putting away his bullfighter’s uniform. His father stood nearby, looking at an altar dedicated to Carmen. Grandma was knitting.

  “Failing, in and out of the ring—the whole Sanchez family would be so disappointed in you,” Carlos told Manolo.

  “Please, don’t say that.” Manolo’s throat felt like a huge lump was lodged inside.

  Suddenly, his father pulled him into an embrace. “Listen. You love Maria? Then fight for her. Like a man!”

  “It’s too late. Joaquin proposed to her already.” Manolo had no fight left in him.

  “Now, that’s a real man.” Carlos admitted he admired Joaquin. In response, Grandma pelted him in the head with a piece of fruit.

  “Quiet, Carlos!” She turned to her great-grandson. “Manolo, if Maria didn’t say yes to Joaquin, then she said no.”

  Manolo mentally reviewed what happened in the town square.

  “So what are you gonna do about it, son?” Carlos asked.

  Manolo’s eyes lit up. He kissed Grandma on the cheek and ran out into the night.

  At the museum Mary Beth explained, “Chakal, a beast of a man, once possessed Xibalba’s magic medal.”

  *****

  “Chakal! Ch
akal!” Chato called as he ran into the bandits’ hideaway, a skull-shaped cave in the middle of the desert. Most of the bandits were still sleeping when Chato and the others returned from San Angel.

  Chakal sat in front of a small fire sharpening a massive machete. His face was hidden by the darkness. The floor was covered in coins and medals.

  Chato rushed in and announced, “We found the medal . . . the Medal of Everlasting Life! It’s in the town of San Angel—”

  Like a massive, monster wolf, Chakal rose and pounced on Chato. Chato was pinned beneath Chakal’s gargantuan strength.

  “Medal! Are you certain?!”

  Chato choked out, “I swear! I swear!”

  Chakal picked up Chato to look him in the eye.

  “A beautiful hero wears it to protect the town.” Chato pointed at a dirty bedsheet with a picture of the medal crudely painted on it. “It looked just like that!” A small image of Xibalba disguised as an old man was drawn on the sheet too.

  “Gather my men. We ride for San Angel.” He then tossed Chato out of the cave.

  Chakal stood in front of the medal painting. The fire lit his frightening face and illuminated his scars. He smiled a sinister grin and said, “You’ve come back to me, Medal.”

  *****

  It was still dark when Joaquin dropped Maria off at her front door.

  Xibalba settled on a nearby rooftop to see his hero get the girl.

  Joaquin was still talking about his medals. “I got this one for saving some orphans from a fire and going back in for their cribs and their toys. And then I saved a little puppy one time that had a thorn in its paw. And then I got this medal for saving the president—”

  “Well, here we are!” Maria cut him off. “Thank you for this most informative talk—about you.”

  Maria just wanted the night to end, but Joaquin thought that he had finally won her over! He reached into his pocket. “I have something for you, Maria.” He pulled out a photograph and handed it to her.

  “That is so nice of you,” Maria said as she took the gift. But she raised an eyebrow when she saw it was an autographed picture of Joaquin. “Wow. I’m speechless,” she said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, I know, right? I get that a lot.” He leaned in for a kiss.